Thursday 27 February 2014

A descriptive paragraph

Today you all helped me write a descriptive paragraph about my glacier hike on Fox Glacier.  You had so many great ideas!  The whole time we were writing, I was thinking about what I could hear, see and feel while on the glacier, to try and take you all on the journey back to that short moment in time with me.

Here's our draft.  I still need to edit it to improve it even more, but I think we did a really good job of finding powerful verbs and juicy adjectives, and varying the sentence starters.

As far as the eye could see, the blues, whites and silvers of the sculptured ice contrasted against the lush greens of the surrounding New Zealand bush.  The early morning sun glistened on the frozen layers of the glacier.  Below my feet the melt water raged and roared its way into the depths, while my crampons crunched into the slippery surface.  I couldn’t believe I was back in this amazing ancient place.


Tomorrow it will be your turn to write.  I can't wait to read about your moment in time!

Comment below: What are you thinking of writing yours about?
Remember, pick just a very short snapshot of something you experienced during the holidays or some other time.  If you have a photo bring it tomorrow, otherwise imagine the moment and take a photo of it in your mind.
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14 comments:

  1. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 16:52

    I think i will do one when i was opening my playstation 3 on Christmas day
    that will be what i'm going to pick

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  2. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 17:32

    Um, i didn't do much in the holidays, ooh wait i went to the India vs new zealand cricket match which was really fun. i am going to write about the cricket match

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  3. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 17:35

    I think I will do my piece of writing/paragraph on my journey to Orua my cousins bach which I really enjoyed going to in the holidays.

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  4. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 17:37

    I think that i will do one about going to mega zone for my friends birthday

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  5. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 18:03

    Maybe the time i was at rotorua.

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  6. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 18:23

    I might do it on a sleepover (mabye) at my friends house. it was AWESOME!!!! or I might do it on RAINBOWS END!!!!!

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  7. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 18:25

    Maybe camping, the Eco zip in waiheke, or the Luge in Rotorua

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  8. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 19:13

    Are we allowed to do it like the year on 2012?

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  9. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 19:54

    I'll do mine of when I was on the batwing ride at movie world.

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  10. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 20:11

    I might do mine when I was on top of sugar loaf with friends ( is a hill in Opito bay not bread ) or when i was in New Plymouth helping on our friends farm.

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  11. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 21:16

    I'm thinking of writing a short paragraph about my summer holidays
    with all of my family / relatives came 2 our house for two weeks

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  12. Anonymous28 February 2014 at 18:27

    i did my writing it was a good way to find juicy adjectives and meaty verbs

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  13. Anonymous28 February 2014 at 18:47

    i'm doing mine on my uanty's wedding, it was the first wedding i have been to, and i can put a lot of jucy adjectives and powerful verbs in my paragraph, but not yet.It was truly amazing :D

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  14. Anonymous7 March 2014 at 17:50

    i did mine on the first time i went on a rollercoaster!

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